Caught Between the Times
14 Jul 2020
2020 was not meant to look like this. I was meant to be in Kenya by now. I was meant to be serving at IAfrika by now. I was meant to be leaving for Kenya in February. Then, it was pushed out until April. Now, I am really not sure when I will be able to get on the plane. So many grand plans have been put on hold for so many all over the world. I remember back to when all of this was just beginning, crying with a friend after church one night because I just didn’t understand why God hadn’t let me leave yet, why He had planted this dream in my heart and been preparing me for over 6 years just to say ‘wait’. Again. Not even, two days after my meltdown, international flights were cancelled and international borders were closed.
Oh! I get it now God. I understand that in your infinite wisdom why you didn’t give me a specific leaving date, why you didn’t let me get on a plane, just yet. Looking back, I now know that I would have had to come home anyway and He knew my heart could not have handled that. This is a lesson that He has continued to teach me during this extended waiting season. To trust Him in the waiting, in the unexpected, in the chaos, in the confusion, in the hurt, in the joy, in everything, trust Him. It is not a new lesson but one that He continues to whisper to me about. To trust that He is sovereign, to trust that He still has a plan, to trust that He is here in the waiting alongside me.
While this year hasn’t looked like I was hoping and praying it would, there have been so many unexpected blessings that I wasn’t meant to be here for. I was able to help homeschool my siblings, I was here for my sister 10th birthday, I was here to see my foster brother turn 2, celebrate engagements and pregnancy announcements with friends, complete a few short online courses and support the IAfrika team from Brisbane – all of which I wasn’t meant to be here for. During this extended circling pattern, what has almost felt like Joshua leading the Israelites around the wall of Jericho, so much promise in the air but no way through – we shall keep marching towards the promised land. And in this season God has opened so many incredible doors for me to able to share the gospel in ways I never thought possible with work colleagues, I have been able to encourage those struggling in my team, I have been able to share about this God-sized dream with more people than I ever thought possible and God has provided an incredible new role that will prepare me for the work in Kenya like nothing I could not have asked for or imagined. While it was so hard at the beginning I am so incredibly grateful for this extended time to just be with the ones I love – for as long as God needs me to be! My visa is processing, my bags are packed, I am ready for when He finally says ‘Go’ and the walls fall.
-Bethany, a Pioneers worker waiting to join the mission field soon.
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